Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Me legs are too big.  My butt is saggy.  My arms arms are flabby.  My stomach is poochy.  My face is pudgy.  I have two chins.  I have cankles.  I have thunder thighs.  I have a muffin top.  I have a double chin.  AND... 

Sound familiar?  Are you guilty of claiming any of these?  Have these exact words come out of your mouth?  Women have severe issues with their self-image.  We are all guilty of spending more time disliking our bodies than appreciating our assets.  

self–im·age

 noun \ˈself-ˈi-mij\

: one's conception of oneself or of one's role

What we see, or think we see in the mirror is not necessarily what others see.  A study found that women overestimate the size of their hips by 16% and their waists by 25%, yet the same women were able to correctly estimate the width of a box.  I believe we have warped minds and I don't necessarily know how it works.  In high-school I was athletic, very active and wore a size 8.  At 5'2" that's NOT the perfect size.  In college the freshman 15lb was more like the freshman 50lb for me.  I've been able to maintain a size 2-4 for the past 12 years (not including pregnancies) yet I still look in the mirror and see thunder thighs, professional football player calves and thick arms.  My incredible husband tells me EVERYDAY how beautiful I am and that he loves my legs.  Obviously I don't see what he does, but I'm glad he feels that way.

I don't want my daughter having these issues and I know I set an example for her.  She hears every word that comes out of my mouth and she internalizes them.  It's important to me that my daughter loves herself and sees a beautiful young lady in the mirror when she stands in front of it.  So, if I expect her to believe this, then I need to get over my own issues and stop putting myself down.  How do I accomplish this impossible feat?  To start, we all need to realize it's NOT IMPOSSIBLE, it just takes effort.  Remember the children's book The Little Engine that Could?  "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!  

MedicineNet.com experts suggest the following steps to improve your self-image.  

1. Stop negative self-talk immediately. While you still may not like what you see in the mirror, Martz says, learning to describe yourself with neutral, objective phrases can help stop the cycle of poor self-esteem. So, instead of saying to yourself "I have really ugly thighs," think "My thighs could use some work."
2. Find and focus on the things you like about your looks. It's best not to link your looks to your self-esteem, but with body image so intimately entwined with self-image, that can be hard to do. The next best thing is to find something about your image you really like. "It can be great hair, great nails, terrific teeth. Find the things about yourself you can say something good about, and every time you look in the mirror, go there first and say something positive to yourself," says Martz.
3. Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you show your best friend. "Would you respect and care about a person who says about you what you are saying about yourself? If the answer is no, then begin treating yourself at least as well as you are treating others in your life," says May.
4. Say what you mean. Sometimes, hating your thighs is all about wanting thinner thighs. But sometimes, Kaufman says, negative body thoughts are a way of expressing discontent over other issues in your life. Learn to decode these messages, she says.
5. Dress the part. If you're putting off buying new clothes until you like your body better -- don't. Whether you're bursting at the seams in duds that are too tight or swimming in oversized clothing to hide your body, you are eroding your self-esteem. "Buy what fits you, and look the very best you can. It sends a powerful message to yourself that you are worth it," says Aronowitz.
6. Recognize that people naturally come in different shapes and sizes, and cherish your body's uniqueness. And, Martz says, remember this: "Only 2% of the world's women fall into the supermodel category. That leaves a lot of room for the rest of us!

To the 98% of us real women, I would like to share a quote with you I learned at a very early age from my incredible, beautiful, wise mother: "Pretty is as pretty does".  

G