Disappointment

Life is full of disappointments.  When we think about disappointment we generally go to an experience where someone, or something has created disappointment for us.  We go through emotions of anger, sadness, and possibly regret.  Disappointment is a moment (or several) in time where we have to adjust to the realization that our expectations were not met. 

Disappointments can be BIG: interviewing for a job and not getting the position, a break up in a relationship, our children breaking the rules, preparing for a competition or performance and bombing it, or stepping on the scale after a week of serious dieting to see the scale hasn't moved.

Disappointments can be SMALL: the movie or book didn't end the way you hoped, the food at a restaurant you just ate wasn't very tasty or the new pair of shoes you just bought hurts your feet.


We eventually get over our daily disappointments as time heals all wounds.  Some of us dwell on these let downs a little longer than others, but it does pass.

I want to share another kind of disappointment, one that truly affected me this past week.  How about being the one responsible for inflicting disappointment on another?  This hit me hard and took much more time, thought and effort to accept and get past.

I've been working for 24 Hour Fitness for 4 years now as a Group Fitness Instructor.  I take my job seriously and am passionate about each and every 60 minutes I deliver to my students.  This past Monday, I forgot about a class I was supposed to sub.  I was a no-show!  In 4 years I have NEVER made this mistake.  My manager calls me 15 minutes after the class was supposed to have started to inquire my where abouts.  I was completely honest with her and told her I had failed to record the class on my calendar.  She called the gym manager back to officially cancel the class.  A trickle of disappointment occurred from my fitness manager, to the club manager, to the students who showed up for a class and didn't get the workout they had planned for.

I beat myself up over my careless, irresponsible actions.  I was sick to my stomach all day.  I can't believe I did this.  This is not like me.  I worried about what actions would take place regarding my job.  I expected a harsh reprimand and a mark against me in my official file.

Hours later, after a long day of self-loathing I went to teach my regular Monday night 5:30pm Zumba class.  To my surprise my fitness manager was there.  This is not a typical Monday for her to be at this gym at this time, especially in my class.  My heart sunk, my gut wrenched, and I started breathing hard- why was she here?  I said a quick prayer that she would not release me in front of my students and take over the class then and there.

To my total astonishment, she was there to award me!  I had been chosen as the group fitness instructor of the quarter among all the instructors at several surrounding 24 Hour gyms as the Tune Belt winner for demonstrating good ethics, great instruction to my students, subbing for my peers and always being there willing to help when I can!  Always being there except earlier that day to sub for a class!  OMG, I barely got through the class and all I could think about is the irony of my no-show actions on the day I am to be rewarded for being responsible!

I spent the latter part of the evening with my husband and good friends basking in self-pity.  Each one of them told me to get over myself, that it was an honest mistake, and that I should be basking in pride for the award.

Two days later I spoke with my manager, once again groveling with apologies for my actions.  She told me that my no-show actions were NOT characteristic of my consistent professional and passionate work that I have demonstrated from the beginning and to not worry about it.  That simple.




We are our worst critic, right?  All that time I spent sick at my stomach, and worried about keeping my job over a minor infraction.  I should have known better.  Lesson learned.  We are human.  We make mistakes.  One moment in time does not define us.

Stressed OUT!

This morning I get up at 6:45am.  I was awoken by a bad dream.  One that reoccurs over and over for me.  I head down stairs to make the coffee and find last night's dinner dishes in the sink and covering the counter.  I had forgotten to run the dishwasher earlier the day before so my cycle was off for the dishware.  I begin to unload the dishwasher so I can load last night's mess.  Coffee is done.  As I'm pouring my coffee I see a drip of water coming from the cabinets above, higher, higher... the water is coming through the ceiling where I guesstimate is the kids bathtub on the 2nd floor.  Call the husband in a panic.  I get instructions to turn off the water in the garage.  My dear husband walks me through that process which turned out to be pretty easy, but stressed me out tremendously when he told me I needed to do it immediately. 

"MOM, come here quick!"  I run upstairs to find one of my boys leaning over the toilet.  "I feel like I'm going to throw up".  I stroke his back and comfort him.  The door bell rings.  It's the plumber.  I pat my boy on the head and comfort him that I'll be right back.  The plumber comes in, looks around for 5 minutes and leaves.  I get my son settled on the couch with a Disney show turned on and a bucket in is lap.  Call hubby back to give report and play 20 questions.  Hubby decides plumbers report is not adequate and needs to leave work to come home and take care of it. 

I scramble to get all of the dishes out of the cabinet in case the water damage causes it to break away from the wall.  I tell my little girl, "You won't be taking a shower this morning, go get dressed and look as clean as you can."  Time to walk out the door for school.  Nope... I have 3 lunches to pack.  Husband calls back with 20 more questions in transit on the way home with a statement that really pushes me over the edge, "you'll have to go to the gym and shower before you head to the airport". Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be at the airport in 2 hours to head home to Texas for a family funeral........As far as I'm concerned, an earthquake might as well have taken my whole house down.  These little incidents felt that BIG to me. 

Stress.  A lot of it.  I feel like I'm going to crack sometimes, more than sometimes and I'd like to run away from home.  I get head aches.  I get nausea.  I have night sweats.  I'm tired.  This is pretty typical for me.  But not near as bad as it was 18 months ago.  In August of 2011 I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD).  I never have heard of it, but I was/am a text book case. 

Stated from an article by the University of Michigan  Psychiatry department, "Generalized Anxiety Disorder occurs when you feel worried and stressed about many everyday events and activities. Often the things you are worried about are small or not important. This type of worry disrupts your life most days. Everyone gets worried or anxious sometimes, but people with generalized anxiety disorder experience more than normal everyday worries." 

Symptoms are:

• Feeling tired or irritable; having a hard time concentrating.
• Having headaches or muscle aches.
• Having a hard time swallowing.
• Feeling shaky; sweating or having hot flashes.
• Feeling light headed, sick to your stomach, or out of breath.
• Having to go to the bathroom often.
• Feeling like you can't relax; being startled easily.
• Having problems falling or staying asleep.

To read more on this article Click here.

Women are twice as likely to have this disorder as men.  If you are feeling these symptoms and have for a quite some time- GO TO YOUR DOCTOR!  Many women suffer from this problem and I'm here to tell you ladies- it's real!  GAD can be treated.  Get help if you need it and admit you have a problem if you do.  Life is so much more enjoyable and clearer when you learn how to control the stress. 

I'm happy to say kids made it to school on time with lunches.  The throw up symptoms were a false alarm for my son.  Plumbers came back to discuss with my husband man to man.  I made it to the gym for a shower.  AND, I made my flight.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is admit that we aren't well and we need help.  One of the best things to happen to me was having a medical reason why I couldn't seem to handle life.  My husband is amazing and understanding now to my sensitivities and I manage day to day by putting one foot in front of the other.  One of the biggest solutions for me was reducing the stress I could control.  There are things we stress about that we can control and things we stress about out of our control.  Don't waste time on the little things.  If you have GAD, you have to learn how to manage your stress- it can be done, but don't try to do it yourself.  Go to your Doctor and ask about GAD if you think you are suffering with this disorder.

AND most importantly know- you are not alone!

G

Super Bowl Party Food- good eats!

The most watched television event of the year is today.  Who is tuning in?  Raised in Texas, you might say I'm a HUGE football fan.  We Texans do everything BIG and football is no exception.  You might even say that my passion for being a fitness instructor all started with football.  Yes, dancing to burn calories and stay fit allows me to be the cheerleader and dance team girl from the 80's who never wanted to let go of my glory days!  

I do have to admit though that I am more of a college football fan than NFL (Go Texas Tech!  My dog's name is Red Raider).  Don't get me started on our society's problems with paying professional athletes millions of dollars while our public teachers, firemen, policemen and military men and women get paid pennies.  THAT will be another blog on another day.


Now, even though I'm not an NFL fan, I will be watching Super Bowl XLVII for the commercials and the half-time show.  C'mon Beyonce, don't let me down like Madonna last year.  I'm counting on you for some new dance moves and inspiration!  


Along with billion's of other people I will be indulging in some "snacky food" today.  Super Bowl Sunday is the second-biggest food holiday in the US, behind Thanksgiving.  It's a booming weekend for the most popular foods: namely wings, chips and pizza.  An estimated 1.2 billion chicken wings will be consumed this Super Bowl Sunday, according to the Washington-based National Chicken Council.  (sited from www.csmonitor.com)  My husband just walked in the door from Costco with 10lbs of wings!  We are definitely contributing to the statistic today.  

So, what is on my menu?  Food that is actually not so high in calories and has some nutritional value!  

Hansen's Super Bowl Menu
Wings- baked not fried
Celery with natural peanut butter
Sugar snap peas
Broccoli with low cal ranch
Roasted potatoes
Popcorn- cooked on the stove with 1 Tbs of oil...and my BIG splurge of the day is butter on the popcorn!

According to some fun facts I found on the 93.1 Kiss FM of El Passo, TX radio station http://kisselpaso.com/super-bowl-fun-facts/ your average calorie intake during the game is about 1,200 calories!  Of course, you could burn that off doing about 3 hours of intense Zumba! Some other fun facts:

• 6 percent of Americans call in sick the Monday after Super Bowl.

• On the Monday after the Super Bowl, antacid sales increase by 20 percent.

• Pizza sales go up 35 percent the day of the Super Bowl.

• 8 million pounds of guacamole will be consumed on Super Bowl Sunday.

• 14,500 tons of chips will be eaten along with that guacamole.

• Dips and spreads are top choice for food to eat during the Super Bowl (at 30 percent) followed by chicken wings (22 percent), pizza (17 percent), chips and salty snacks (14 percent), and burgers and hot dogs (9 percent).

• Super Bowl fans spend more than $50 million on food during the four days prior to the super bowl.

• Super Bowl Sunday is the biggest winter grilling day of the year.

• More than 49 million cases of beer will be purchased. The Super Bowl is the seventh most popular “beer holiday,” behind July 4th, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Halloween.

• More drivers are involved in alcohol-related accidents on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year except St. Patrick’s Day.

• The Super Bowl is the second largest day of food consumption behind Thanksgiving.

• You would need about 13,333 NFL linemen (at 300 pounds each) to balance the four-million pounds of fat consumed from potato chips on Super Bowl Sunday.

• The average number of people at a Super Bowl party is 17.

• 5 percent of Americans will watch the game alone.

• Super Bowl weekend is the slowest weekend of the year for weddings.

• 1.5 million TVs are sold the week before the Super Bowl.

Enjoy your Super Bowl Day!  Go Green Bay! 

G