Life is full of disappointments. When we think about disappointment we generally go to an experience where someone, or something has created disappointment for us. We go through emotions of anger, sadness, and possibly regret. Disappointment is a moment (or several) in time where we have to adjust to the realization that our expectations were not met.
Disappointments can be SMALL: the movie or book didn't end the way you hoped, the food at a restaurant you just ate wasn't very tasty or the new pair of shoes you just bought hurts your feet.
We eventually get over our daily disappointments as time heals all wounds. Some of us dwell on these let downs a little longer than others, but it does pass.
I want to share another kind of disappointment, one that truly affected me this past week. How about being the one responsible for inflicting disappointment on another? This hit me hard and took much more time, thought and effort to accept and get past.
I've been working for 24 Hour Fitness for 4 years now as a Group Fitness Instructor. I take my job seriously and am passionate about each and every 60 minutes I deliver to my students. This past Monday, I forgot about a class I was supposed to sub. I was a no-show! In 4 years I have NEVER made this mistake. My manager calls me 15 minutes after the class was supposed to have started to inquire my where abouts. I was completely honest with her and told her I had failed to record the class on my calendar. She called the gym manager back to officially cancel the class. A trickle of disappointment occurred from my fitness manager, to the club manager, to the students who showed up for a class and didn't get the workout they had planned for.
Hours later, after a long day of self-loathing I went to teach my regular Monday night 5:30pm Zumba class. To my surprise my fitness manager was there. This is not a typical Monday for her to be at this gym at this time, especially in my class. My heart sunk, my gut wrenched, and I started breathing hard- why was she here? I said a quick prayer that she would not release me in front of my students and take over the class then and there.
To my total astonishment, she was there to award me! I had been chosen as the group fitness instructor of the quarter among all the instructors at several surrounding 24 Hour gyms as the Tune Belt winner for demonstrating good ethics, great instruction to my students, subbing for my peers and always being there willing to help when I can! Always being there except earlier that day to sub for a class! OMG, I barely got through the class and all I could think about is the irony of my no-show actions on the day I am to be rewarded for being responsible!
I spent the latter part of the evening with my husband and good friends basking in self-pity. Each one of them told me to get over myself, that it was an honest mistake, and that I should be basking in pride for the award.
Two days later I spoke with my manager, once again groveling with apologies for my actions. She told me that my no-show actions were NOT characteristic of my consistent professional and passionate work that I have demonstrated from the beginning and to not worry about it. That simple.
We are our worst critic, right? All that time I spent sick at my stomach, and worried about keeping my job over a minor infraction. I should have known better. Lesson learned. We are human. We make mistakes. One moment in time does not define us.
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