Why me? Why not?

I believe... everything happens for a reason.  We may not be able to figure out the "why" while we are in a moment of despair, but eventually we can look back on it and see the reasoning.  My moment of despair came this morning when I found out my recovery for knee surgery will take approximately a year!

This past week I attended a funeral to honor my high school cheerleading coach, Lesa Ward.  Lesa had fought cancer for a few years and after a long battle she said goodbye to her family and friends last Thursday.  She was an amazing, self-less woman who gave her life as an educator to children of all ages.  She dedicated her life helping others by serving in public education as a high school counselor, middle school principal and superintendent for Blackwell, OK.  Blackwell schools closed on the day of her funeral to honor her life.

A family friend delivered the Remembrance and his stories were so "Lesa", yet so self-applicable.  When learning of her cancer (stage 4 ovarian) he asked her, "Why you?"  Lesa, replied, "Why not?"  Lesa's attitude will carry me through my own life over this next year.

Recently, I injured my knee.  I've known for quite some time that I am looking at surgery.  Up until attending this funeral to honor a beautiful life lost, I have been asking myself, "Why me?"  The timing couldn't be worse!  I just signed a contract to market my business, record choreography and get ready to expand Be Bad Hip Hop BIG TIME! "Why me?"  I can't follow through with my commitments and plans with a torn up knee!  "Why me?"

How selfish of me to worry about a torn knee when Lesa was fighting for her life and worrying about her family's wellbeing in her absence.  I can't workout, dance, teach, or choreograph for a year.  A year. I know there is a reason.  I don't know what it is now, but someday I will.  And when a year has gone by and my knee is stronger, I will still dance.

"I'm in a win/win situation", Lesa said.  "If God heals me and I have many more years of life with my family, I win.  If he decides to take me, I still win."  WOW!  Talk about a positive attitude!  I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself because I can't dance for a year and Lesa has a positive attitude facing death!  Be strong, Gwenda.  Stop being a pansy.  You are a BAD ASS.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You will get through this.  Love life every day.  Attitude is everything.

Why me?  Why not?  We are all prone to disappointment, loss, injury, and death.  Our attitude in how we handle life's situations will determine the value of our life.  You can't change your fate, but you can change your attitude.  Make it a positive one!